Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Found your dick twin last night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
