ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
