Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
