I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
