Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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