he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
