I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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