walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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