apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
