Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
