also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
