Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
