I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
