just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize