i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
