"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
