coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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