There was a lot of him and a little penis
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
