I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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