I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's just like the Real World with babies
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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