Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
