If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
