He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
