I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
