it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize