I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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