I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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