I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
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