What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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