Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
