just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Less talking, more tequila
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
