I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
