Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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