theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
