Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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