So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
