Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
