Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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