So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize