Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
