My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
