you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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