so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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