Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
