i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
