Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
