Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
