i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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