but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
