So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
