I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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