"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
