You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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