I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
