Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
