summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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