you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
