..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize