the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
