Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
