sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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