if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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