Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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