Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
