I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
