well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
