Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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