ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
