he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize